Anyway, I hope this will be a place I can share my thoughts, feelings and hopefully a recipe or two. Don't worry, there wont be a million bloody pictures of every morsel I've shoved in my cakehole everyday - if you're the kind of person who wants to see that there are plenty of instagram and snapchat accounts that will cater to your
Let me introduced myself and my brood - I'm Helen, Helly, H, Boo, or most often MUUUUUUUUUUM shouted at 11tybillion decibels. I've been with my partner for 14 godforsaken years (we aren't married, we're modern like that. Or lazy. Or broke.) and we have three sproglets, Master O who is 8, Master J who is 6 and Miss T who is 8 1/2 months. I have never really been what you would consider slim, but I didn't make any conscious effort to lose weight until after I had the first boy. I joined slimming world and lost 3 stone in just under 6 months, and actually felt great. I then went on holiday and lost a bit more when I got back, before getting knocked up again and putting all the weight back on, and then some.
Also, in that time we moved house and my Slimming World group was too far away for me to commit to anymore, so when Master J was about 1 I went to the dark side and joined Weight Watchers. Again, I lost about 3 stone, but I was huuuuungry all the time and for me hungry = miserable. I really am a cranky bitch when I can't eat. If you look in the dictionary for the definition of "Hangry" you see a picture of me with cartoon steam coming out of all my orifices. So I went it alone for a while, then rejoined Slimming World and battled through health issues and fertility woes, managing to get to the lowest weight I'd ever been in my adult life at the beginning of last year.
Now, even my lowest weight evah is still substantially overweight, especially for someone knee high to a grasshopper like me. I was 12 stone 7lbs when I found out I was pregnant with Miss T, and the healthy BMI range (which is a load of bollocks, but that is perhaps a post for another day) for my height tops out at 10 stone. So I had a way to go. I got back to Slimming World when she was about 7 months old and stepped on the scale to find I had gained half a pound shy of four stone. Four fucking stone! Back to the beginning again!
That was 7 weeks ago and in that time the scales have stopped saying "one at a time please" when I step on and I've lost 1 stone 4 1/2 pounds. Secretly, I'm a little bit proud of that. But, it is hard! So hard, anyone that's ever tried to lose weight knows how hard it is and so this lighthearted, funny and occasionally NSFW blog was born.
Well, that was a bit of a bore-fest so I'll leave you to cry into your diet sugar free low calorie water and hopefully tomorrow I'll be back with a recipe: dust salad!